Following in Leo Babuta’s Footsteps : 2016 : A Year in Review
I will review 2016 in this post, and cite my goals for the upcoming 2017 in the following post.
2016 was an incredible year, where the dust settled after the storm.
I could see a little clearer, and my sense of self reached a higher level of being.
It went by too quickly ( I think you’ll agree! ) but there’s always something great to
remember the times gone by. Here are some of them :
- I raised my bars in romantic relationships.
I had dated in the past, and looking back, I always dated people who were bad for me.
And rejected the ones that treated me right. Well, way to become a cliche. I wouldn’t say
this was an overall pattern, but I did invite a few bad influences into my life.
After having dated a friend for three months, I realised that although love is a matter of the heart,
at the end, logic is what wins. As much as I tried, it wouldn’t work. And I ended up feeling used,
or taken advantage of. We must remember that even though we are flexible, the other might not be. And this brews trouble. I realised that dating was just like any other thing. No thinking or over thinking achieve the same things. So I decided to make a list of the qualities I’d like in the person.
And I looked up emotionally healthy relationships ( something I realised I needed to relearn ).
I added these two together to come up with a list, and now I have a map to traverse the murky waters of the heart. I had been I emotionally abusive relationships without realising it. Being a giver does that to one. I decided to put myself first. Unconditional love is good, but its a two way street.
I no longer do long distance, and tightened the reins on flirting with other people. I decided I was not okay with my SO looking at other women, or flirting with other women. That was emotional cheating. I had done it myself unintentionally in past relationships, and had been subjected to it.
This was a deal breaker for me. Being a separate human being from the relationship is also very important. This wards off many manipulators and users. Having boundaries in all aspects such as
mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, and other things. I now give equal time to other people in my life as well, something that would’ve have saved me from a bad relationship in the past. Well, atlas now I know. I avoid having mutual friends since that just adds drama in case of a breakup. I never made my relationship public, but I let the close few and trusted know. This wards off many players.
And I don’t believe in casual flings. It’s just a personal thought. If you want t work towards a future with me, we’ll consider it, otherwise no. I now retain my independence in academic and work.
I have understood the importance of financial and general independence. There is no human being who will fail to take advantage of this leverage.
II. Marathon running
I had always been an athlete growing up, but lost touch in pre college, and college years.
Running was one of my favourite activities as it helped me be fit mentally, physically and emotionally. I had made plans to run in 2015, but failed to follow through. A black star on my board.
2015 was a year of emotional turmoil or what we like to call adulting. Anyhow, whats happened has happened. I have a month and a half to go to the 5k marathon coming up in January 2017, and I fully intend to run it. During my practices, I have noticed a slight pain in my chest, so I will check that out, but apart from that, it feels brilliant. The plan being, to run between 6 – 7 am in the morning. Anything earlier isn’t safe where I live. Marathon running is a life goal and this is only a start. I really hope I follow through and continue on this journey. I will chronicle my entire journey up to the marathon and my experience of it, so please do look out for it. Maybe you can join me?
III. Moving out of my parent’s house
I would’ve never thought Id end up back in my parents home after college, but thats exactly what happened. So I decided to just take the plunge in October and it’s been a great decision. My first true steps towards independence. It’s a small place, and I am still financially dependent on my parents but I hope to rectify that asap, more specifically before the end of this year.
I am more watchful of my expenses such as food, clothing, rent, utility, travel, and frivolous expenditure. I’m educating myself on personal earning, accounting, saving and investing.
Good. Onwards and upwards 🙂
III. Family is dearest
It’s funny how you don’t realize the importance of family when they are with you, and then you’re an adult, and you have no time, and you come to terms with how much your family has done for you.
It’s been an amazing few years coming to this epiphany. Now, my priorities after myself and work are my family. I had always given more importance to boyfriends or friends, but blood is blood.
Through trials and tribulations, I have finally realised this, and I hope I continue to treat them well.
IV. Getting a job
2014 – 2017 has been a year of confusion. Thankfully, I am strong willed and till I get what I want, I don’t stop. After three years of job hopping, internships, self employment and brain wracking, I have realised what I would like to do, what I am well suited for, and what I meant to do.
When passion meets strength, it is indeed a beautiful thing.
And I have also learnt to keep it to myself. I was surprised to learn the true meaning of ‘they want you to do well, but not better than them.’ So, I’ll be faking it till I make it. I’d always done that, but betrayal comes from your close people. So I have to keep my cards closer than ever.
Being an ambivert, I’d always taken time making friends, and once I considered someone a friend, Id do anything. Well, within limits. But theres no such thing as friendship. There is ourselves, work,
family, and the rest are just acquaintances. Its not like I was deluded into thinking my friends are always going to be there. But I had thought the handful I had chosen and invested in, would’ve been with me. How wrong I was.
VI. I never did drugs, but I am okay with social drinking now. I keep myself restricted to very close company, and beer.
CONCLUSION : If you’ve learnt, it wasn’t a waste. Here’s hoping i put to good use the lessons I have learnt. 2017, I’m pleased to meet you!